The darkness of sleep opened to the darkness of the clouded mind. Like he did everytime counsousness and lucidity threatened to clear away the fog, eyes closed, blindly he reached towards the open drawer, hoping muscle memory would reap the reward he sought, hoping he was even in the same run down room he was in the last time memory creeped back in.

 

To his delight, or was it dismay, or perhaps nothing more then numb indiference, the drawer was there. His fingers dug in deep, exploring the various shapes and sizes of its contents. “What will it be today?” he thought, 8 more hours of immobility and the familiarity of the drug induced comotose state? Maybe a wake up call to make me face the day? Or maybe death is just a breath away? He became annoyed by the fact he thought at all, and picked out 3 random pills, swallowing them without even a sip of water. Shivering despite the sweltering heat, he pulled the blankets over his head. Whether it was day or night, he was unaware. “Chemistry” he thought, “it’s only chemustry, it won’t kill you, untill it does”

 

Shadows in the darkness. The blackest of black, separated from the blacker then black, patterns and motion. This would be neither the immobilizing numbness that seemed to dominate the last few weeks, or was it months, nor would it be the manic energy that brought him to the brink of sanity.  Reality was splintering at alarming speed.

 

What had he taken? For years he had used every excuse he could to raid the medicine cabinits in every home he had visited.  He could cure the world of all its suffering with the contents of that drawer. But that was not what it was for. Suffering, the causation of, that was its purpose.

 

And this day, he had stumbled into nothing short of a nightmare.

 

For the first time in days his eyes were open wide in horror. Gone was his familiar shabby room, replaced by nightmarescapes and unimaginable horrors.

 

“Jason, Jason, what have you done?” Came a disembodied voice across the void, from another unseen world. A world he had left behind. Maybe for the last time.

 

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