This entry is part 3 of 11 in the series Light Into My Dark Corner

This is about you remember, I’ve no name to loose”

There I was in the company of the people’s idol. What seemed to be a short distance felt like thousands of miles; Vanny’s kind of talk was opposite to mine. He was so positive about everything; I kept wondering where on earth he sourced inspiration.

What would his parent think if we bumped into any of them? For a moment, one of the rare moments, I did worry out of him; I did not want him to go through the same hell as me, I knew what it felt like to be rejected and worse of all to reject yourself. If I really was this spell that everyone thought, then I was going to defend Vanny from my wrath.

30 best minutes of my life were over and there I was back at home, back into my solitude cage (not having had a few puffs of cigarette like I had planned. Mom must have read a sparked on my face because I had her say something behind me. It never really matters what it is she says, it’s not on my thing to pay attention.

As I lay on my bed I felt things I’ve never felt before. This guy was taking roots, softening my heart in a way I couldn’t grasp. I began to realize there is more to life, that no matter how deep into the dark tunnel I was, there is always a beam of light. Contrary, there has always been this rock in me that doesn’t crack to light.

“You’re there? Was nice seeing you, I think I should stroll around your place more often.” That is what I needed for a boring afternoon. Some nice chat, if he meant it I didn’t care. “And here I am thinking thorough your word” I replied.

It felt right for once to be completely honest about feelings and thoughts. “Did I say anything that sounded offensive?” Vanny texted. “Of course not, I’m just wondering if you mean everything you say, apart from dad you’re the only other person who doesn’t think I’m a douche bag” I couldn’t help but shed some tears as I saw this message deliver.

I was so honest about it; everyone else saw nothing good in me. I couldn’t even give two of my best sides, there really was none? Our conversation went on and on for a good part of the afternoon. In each of his text he didn’t forget to mention the good he sees in me.

Suddenly, I had this urge to see his side of the view, the side that sees only the good in an ocean of vices. It was possible, I am genetically linked to a man who is perfect at that, and dad is one of the most optimistic people I have never known. It was time to charge up that part of me just like my father.

One thing I would never have back is the biggest dream of my life, at that moment it felt almost impossible to revive myself. There was nowhere to start.

“I need a favor Theresa” Vanny texted

“Which is?”

“Spare tomorrow for me, I’m home alone, you can come over”

I didn’t know how to respond to this, he was becoming impossible to resist. I wanted to say yes, and then there was my ego.

“Theresa? Will you?”

Meeting him would mean another day without smoking.

…End of episode 3…

To be continued…

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  • Pelogia Ambei

    A lady with an intense passion for writing. If by writing I can touch a soul in the end I'm a fulfilled being knowing I have tabled the best I could.

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